There are majorly five types of Discipline, and according to the situation, you can pick one and apply it to tackle it. These types are Boundary-Based Discipline, Behavior Modification, Positive Discipline, Gentle Discipline, and Emotion coaching.
Setting up some set of rules is a boundary-based discipline. Your child can choose to obey the rules or face the result of his action.
This type of discipline usually works! when a child refuses to do a task like not cleaning up his toys, you may then use a deal (boundary-based discipline), set a rule so that your child knows the result of not complying with it.
For example, if your child refuses to clean up his toys, you can say, “you cannot watch TV after dinner if you do not put back your toys into the box.” Your child will then know the better choice to make and the consequences of his actions.
Praising the good behavior of your child and ignoring the bad behavior is considered behavior modification. Support the good acts and little things of your child while ignoring the bad ones can have a positive impact too.
For example, for the child not picking up the toys, you can simply use this approach by saying that “we go to the park usually when you clean up the toys.” so if the child decides to clean up, the praise and a regular trip to the park is a reward.
And so, upon refusing to do so, you can ignore the negative behavior and avoid the regular visit to the park.
Positive discipline is often referred to as soft behavior and letting the child decide or lead. Nevertheless, working with your child, helping and directing him to find the solution on his own may give the best results sometimes.
For example, if your child decides not to clean up his toys, you simply acknowledge that and know that maybe the child does not want to pick them up. You then decide to help him or encourage him to help you in picking up toys. You can even ask him if you both can finish the task quickly and easily, rather than leaving toys on the floor.
This is not merely the same as you start picking up the toys on your own when a child rudely refuses to do so. It is more of acknowledging the feelings of your child, the child will then learn to follow your behavior and will learn to respect feelings. You will show him that rules must be followed, and there can be another way to follow them.
Redirecting your child to prevent bad behavior is considered gentle discipline. The approach is really helpful for younger children who are immature and not aware of actions and consequences. Gentle Discipline is especially helpful when you observe bad behavior. When the child rages in cleaning up the toys, you may want to turn the cleaning up into a game. Using this discipline, bad behavior can be coped-up with ideas of redirecting the same act.
Helping your child recognize his emotions is a form of discipline that is called emotion coaching.
The theory behind this is that; parents and children are free to feel a particular way. Parents do not tell the child what to feel, rather they observe him and link his emotions with behavior. Without ignoring misbehavior, the parents can then connect to him to help him identify his emotions. Finding a solution then is easier for you. Team up with your child and find a solution which can help him work with his feelings.
In the above example of toys, you can ask your child why they are upset about cleaning up toys, you can encourage him to share his feelings, and then find a solution resulting in picking up his toys.
Using any of the above, you can break the moment of misbehavior and thus, positively redirect your child’s energy. Children will start understanding right and wrong and simply you will achieve a milestone of mind training of your child. Disciplining your child will build his moral character that will ultimately bring success to his future.